Valentine's came early

I got a box of Godiva Gold Collection from Amir as a late birthday slash early Valentine's gift yesterday.

I also got my period. Not that getting it ruined any plans, it's not like I'll be getting any action any time soon, if you know what I mean. It's been what? Six months man. Six months. No wonder I feel so stressed. I need release. Maybe a massage will help relieve some of that pent up steam.

Today, I received three red roses from my sister's boyfriend and a single rose from my other sister's boyfriend. I am touched that they gave me flowers. So thoughtful. That, or they felt bad for me not having Gerd here. I don't need your pity! Sob sob sob. *throws away flowers and locks self in the room*

Kidding.

I am so immune to the self-pity thing by now. I've accepted the fact that I am technically engaged to someone who lives halfway around the world who never ceases to amaze me with the fact that in this day and age of connectivity, still finds sending an email too time-consuming.

I know he tries.

I just think he's not trying hard enough.

I honestly think I'm stuck with this situation for eternity. Like it's something I have to accept because I have no other choice. I'm not happy about it and I know I shouldn't be such a bitch about it but whatever.

I think, no, I'm sure that if we weren't engaged we would've been so over by now. I need to feel that I am missed. I want surprises that make me go all giddy. Sucks for me, he is seriously lacking in the romance department. No matter how blunt I am about wanting surprises, he still doesn't get it. Tip for the ladies: Hints do not work. If you want something, say it. Men are stupid like that.

So anyway, he called to greet me a happy Valentine's though we both know that neither of us would be having a good one. Last year was a bit better because we spent a week together in Hong Kong but it wasn't to have a post Valentine's date. It was to try to make things work. I think I've mentioned it in previous entries, though not in detail.

Earlier in the week, there was this shocking incident about Rihanna and Chris Brown. I'm sure you're well aware of that by now. I think it's wrong to hit a woman, unless she's a psycho axe murderer who wants to eat your brains. Nobody really knows the real story but as I said, hitting a woman is just wrong.

I don't know why I don't feel hatred for Chris Brown. Maybe because he has a clean image? Maybe because I have a crush on him? Yeah I know, he's too young for me. Whatever. All the guys I've been with are younger than I am but the most is like a year my junior. Gerd is eight months younger than me. What can I say? I like 'em fresh.

Another plane crashed in NY but this time, nobody survived. My sister worked with the first officer on that flight two weeks ago, on a flight to Buffalo. Really creepy. You really don't know when your time is up which is why I always make it a point to tell my family that I love them every single day. I don't want to be one of those people who said I love you too late.

I would like to have lived my life with as few regrets as possible.

Lately I've been noticing that I've been looking at wedding stuff. I don't know why I do that. It just makes me feel sad because I know I won't be getting a church wedding. I don't know why I still make notes and bookmark pages when I know I won't be using them.

Maybe I'm a sucker for punishment.

Or just plain stupid.

Maybe a little of both.

To top off the depressing tone of this post, I would like to share a text message sent by my dad:

Hppy valentine i cant give you any material things but only love and care love you till i am gone

Now do you see where I get my flair for the dramatic from?