Bad Friday, part two

Mahadera got involved in the situation and that's what made things worse. When it was just me and Beb who are involved, we could easily resolve things. But now, it's different.

After I had unleashed my anger, okay na ko but I knew I had to apologize for the way I reacted. I had to patch things up with Beb first. I looked for him and found him in the garage. I was talking to him when Mahadera came and told him to go somewhere else because she didn't want us fighting because it was Good Friday.

Beb went to the kitchen. I followed him there. I was talking (not fighting) with him, telling him that I would be going to my mom's and let things cool down a bit.

Mahadera went in the kitchen, told us to stop yelling and went on and on about us being disrespectful of Good Friday. I asked Beb if we could talk alone and we went to our room. I was asking him if we could talk about things later, if we could meet so we could fix this. He said yes. Mahadera was obviously listening because she said, "Ang haba pa ng drama! Kung aalis kasi, umalis na!"

I went home with a heavy heart. I slept for 2 hours. First thing I did when I woke up was to text Beb and ask where and what time we would meet. He said they were on their way to Baguio and that I could get my stuff from their house.

I called him and he said that he was so sick and tired of us always fighting. He said he was fed up with us going around in circles, committing the same mistakes over and over. His words hit me like, BAM!

Then I felt something familiar. A feeling that I had before during the first time I encountered something like this. I felt cold. My heart was cold. I felt queasy. I felt sick. My soul was cold. I felt angry and abandoned and helpless.

And that's what's killing me...that I cannot do anything about it. I hate not being able to do something about a situation. I don't have to have control over it, I just want to be able to do something and not sit there waiting for whatever's gonna happen.

For three days, I was calling him, only to speak with someone who has already made up his mind that things were over between us and that there was no sense in giving things a second chance. I really couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.

Easter Sunday came and he went to our house in Cavite and we had a talk. I apologized and I explained my side of things. He told me that he still loves me and that we were still a we. He said he just needs time to think.

I asked him if our family is important to him. I wanted to know if he wanted us to stay together or if he's okay with a broken family. He could not answer my questions. All he said was that he needed to think. I gave him time. He has until Sunday.

*end of part two