Why is everything going wrong?!

If we miss each other so much, why do we always end up having a big fight?!

Please tell me everything's going to get better soon. It really breaks my heart to see us this way.

Like Makati,

with more, uh, interesting people

*Pictures (except one) were taken while standing in the middle of the road just in front of the NYPD station in Times Square.

From Nagoya to Detroit

I'm boarding the same plane to go to Detroit Metro. I refused to sit at the waiting area because I knew that it was going to be a long flight from Nagoya to Detroit. Might as well stand while I still can. Waiting with me were a couple of Pinoys and people who had enough money to go to Japan for summer.

And poor me had no one to talk to and no money to spend. Poor nga talaga. Shit, I'm such a loser. So kunyari na lang may ka-text ako. The usual bisi-bisihan. Shit, loser nga talaga.

After a hard time understanding what the ground stewards were saying (Japanglish), I was finally able to board the plane and drop the bisi-bisihan act.

Did I tell you that I do NOT like window seats? Well, I DON'T. Because I can't move around and go to the comfort room without disturbing someone. The aisle seat went to a big American, the middle seat to a Japanese and guess what? Window seat ang nakuha ko. I'm an unlucky loser.

I felt like I was in the Amazing Race when I was at Detroit Metro. Well, it was more likely that I pretended that I was in the Amazing Race. The things that boredom does to you. I had to ride a train that takes me from one terminal to the other! That's how big that airport was. Ang galing!

I had to fly American Airlines for the final leg of my flight. The FA's were very different from our FA's. They looked more like moms than beauty queens. I guess as long as you can walk along the aisle without having to turn sideways then your weight is not a question.

Ang galing! You don't have to be thin to be an FA! Cool. So pwede pala ako maging FA dito sa Amerika kung ganun.

New Jersey, game ka na ba?

From Manila to Nagoya

All I could think of was how much I regret not having enough time to say goodbye.

We slept late, around 2 am, and I was supposed to be at the airport by 4:30 am. I was tired and grumpy and I did not even want to kiss him goodnight.

I guess I was too upset that I was really leaving that I took it out on him. And I always regret not being able to control my emotions.

It was time. And I was too busy trying to hold back tears that I did not even hug him. Stupidstupidstupid! Part of me knew that if I did, it would be harder for me to go. But another part also knew that it was going to be a looong time before I can feel his arms around me again. So I did not. Stupidstupidstupid!

How do you say goodbye to someone you love? How do you let him feel how sad you are that you are leaving? How do you squeeze a thousand hugs and kisses in 5 minutes? I can't. I tried but I really can't.

I looked back but he was no longer there. I called him up and he said he was outside looking at my plane. He said he was going to stay until he sees my plane leave. And that he loves me very much.

So I left.

Touchdown at Nagoya. I went to the restroom at the Nagoya airport just to check it out. And this is what I saw:


I had absolutely no idea what it was and how it works. But I do now! Any guesses?

Binata ka na!

It's never really easy...

I have a total of fifteen days left before my last day here at the office. As with any change that will have a drastic effect on my life, I am suffering a plethora of emotions. Mostly because I hate not being in control and partly because I'm a pessimistic worry-wart. So sue me.

What I'll be missing:


-my workstation

-my "Model Employee Awardee" officemates

-making everyone else's life a living hell
What I will most definitely NOT be missing:

-work
-my OTHER officemate and her evil minions

September

Bombom was admitted to the hospital last Friday due to an asthma attack. Let me just say that I have never had a pleasant experience with hospital service.

We were supposed to bring him to MCI because they already have his record but since their service sucked big time, we decided to take him to SDMC.

Unpleasant experiences detailed below:

-staff not having the common courtesy of knocking before entering the room

-staff not informing us of what they were doing to Bombom and what they were injecting into his bloodstream (which is so against Nursing Ethics)

-staff not informing me that the IV fell, causing Bombom's blood to flow into the tube (which is a big no-no), causing the butterfly needle to be blocked by a blood clot, causing Bombom to be wheeled back into the E.R., causing the stupid nurse to force a new needle into his vein (which obviously is not working since she was unable to insert the needle in the vein which caused instant maga to my son's hand), causing another needle to be inserted to the (thank God) correct vein.

I just cannot understand why the stupid nurse was insisting on inserting the needle on a vein which was not at all visible when all of us in the E.R. can see another vein which was very visible!

Beb was not with me during this time. He's somewhere in Cabuyao on duty. Which totally sucks! We won't be together on the 4th (our third anniversary and most probably our last anniversary together before I leave for the States) and on the 2nd (Bombom's fifth birthday). We were also not together last September 21 (Beb's birthday). Aaargh!

I miss my husband sooo much! Come home na Beb...

Perverts

I just knew that three years of not being assaulted by men who have nothing better to do than display their manoys in public was too good to last.

My senses and my femininity have been insulted by these perverts:

Manong Hi-Ace

I have just gotten my Chinese visa from the Chinese Embassy (where else?) in Malate. I stopped in front of a bank (it's dangerous to go walking while mumbling to oneself) and started planning on which route to take to get to the FX terminal in Lawton.

This white (or grey, I can't really remember) van stopped in front of me and the passenger side window rolled down.

Surprise, surprise! Manong Hi-Ace was jacking off! All I could think of was, "Is that really it? Seriously?!"

So I started walking in the opposite direction because I was appalled that someone would have the nerve to be an exhibitionist when he doesn't even have a respectably sized manoy.

Manong Hi-Ace couldn't follow me because he was on a one-way street. I don't think he wanted to anyway. Napahiya na yon.

Newspaper Boy

I was on my way to UST on a jeepney headed for Dapitan. Newspaper Boy got on the jeepney near Central. He sat near me and was holding a newspaper in front of him.

Surprise, surprise! He was jacking off while using the newspaper as cover from the other people in the jeepney. I panicked! Pano kung matalsikan nya ko?! Yaaak! I ended up walking a block to get to school.

Manong Taxi

I went to Santa Mesa to finish a shoot for my TV Production class. It was really late by the time we packed-up and we wanted to ride a taxi so we can get home faster.

This taxi was parked along the street seemingly waiting for passengers so I opened the back door and asked Manong Taxi if he could drive us to Cavite. Manong Taxi (who was in the backseat) faced me and zipped open his fly.

Surprise, surprise! He started jacking off. Actually, it was pretty hard to tell whether he was jacking off or scratching his belly because he was so fat. I opted to ride a jeepney and a bus instead.

And for 2004, may I present to you...

Manong Bus

I was on a bus headed for Baclaran from Ayala. By the time that we were at Pier One-Roxas Boulevard, only a handful of people were left. I happened to be luckily stuck near the back of the bus. I had no intention of moving from my seat while the bus was swerving and risk being injured so I stayed where I was.

Manong Bus was on the three-seater part of the bus and he was sitting one row behind me (I was seating on the two-seater part). I noticed his hand moving in rapid succession and I thought, "Ohmygawd...not again!"

Manong Bus did not seem satisfied by my reaction (which was complete and utter deadma) so he decided to move one seat up and he was now sitting directly opposite me. As if! So I decided to risk injury rather than let myself be entertained by a swine.

I have observed that:

-men who are exhibitionists often have unimpressive manoys
-a woman's peripheral vision is impressive
-women don't have to wear or do anything sexy for perverts to use them as motivation

Tell me, is it me or is this a normal, everyday thing? Scary.

Patience my face!

It sucks big time when you want something real bad and you shut your eyes tight and focus your mental and spiritual energy to connect with The Big Guy Up There for every night since you started wanting that something and you still haven't got what you want.

Parang cellphone:

"The subscriber cannot be reached"/"Out of coverage area"
Busy si Lord sa ibang mas importanteng bagay o ayaw niya nang makinig sa mga dasal ko dahil nakukulitan na siya sa akin.

"Message sending failed"
Kulang siguro sa concentration o sa pagpapanggap na ang hinihingi ko ay para sa ikabubuti ng human race.

"Check operator services"
Hindi ako malakas kay Lord kaya kailangan magpakabait muna ako. Nahalata na nya siguro na ang mga pangako ko na magpapakabait ay void pag nakuha ko na ang gusto ko.

I don't know if it has something to do with being OC or bratty but when I want something, I want to have it right away. I can't just sit and wait without doing everything in my power to have what I want.

Some say that The Big Guy Up There has a plan for me and that I will be given things in due time. But this brings us to my (still) unanswered questions: If The Big Guy has a plan for me, why do I need to make choices everyday? Am I really using free will? If I was given free will, how can The Big Guy have a plan for me? Does he change his plans based on whatever decisions I have made? Or does The Big Guy have a plan for how my story ends so any decisions I've made leading up to the ending doesn't matter anyway?

Whatever. I tried asking The Big Guy to give me patience. Big mistake. Syempre, he won't give it to me so I can learn to be patient. I should've asked for him to help me understand and accept that some things take time before I can have them.

I should've just asked him to give me what I want so I would stop pestering him. But hey, that's the brat in me speaking. My goddess self knows better.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.

Dreams and red nail polish

I had a dream several days ago about myself and a faceless guy. I can no longer recall the details of the dream but here's what I vaguely remember about it:

I was cuddling with some guy. He's not really faceless but I haven't seen anyone having that face before and in my dream, it felt like the guy was Beb though he did not even slightly resemble Beb. He was so maasikaso and thoughtful and sweet. I felt sooo happy and contented.

That is all I can remember. I know it's not a very satisfying account of my dream and I would love to make stuff up just to make things more exciting but I'm not in one of my creative moods today and I'd rather expound on the fact that I felt very uneasy about what I dreamt about.

I'm not a shrink and I do not have powers of divination to be able to interpret my dream but I think this might have something to do about how I wanted things to be between Beb and me.
Don't get me wrong...he's okay (for lack of a better adjective) but I just wish he would try to do little things for me. Like text me once a day (at least) just to tell me that he's thinking of me.

The self-analysis needs to be put in another entry.

It has always been said that dreams are outlets of what you secretly desire. Well, I desire a lot of things and I've never been much of a dreamer (i.e., a person who dreams a lot during sleep).

Joy, my best friend, always has the most outrageous dreams.

One of my favorites is the yellow-car-door-turned-shoulder-bag dream. Joy was riding in her ex-boyfriend's car (which was painted yellow) and I'm not really sure what happened but she suddenly grabbed the car door and carried it on her shoulder like a shoulder bag. It is sooo funny!

It's really amazing how Joy can remember even the smallest details of her dreams. I can't. Even if I just had the most erotic dream ever! But then again, she wasn't given two doses of anesthesia.

Why can't I have dreams like that?! Is it because I'm a pessimistic, moody bitch? No, don't answer that question.

I've painted my nails red today. It's been a long time since I've painted my nails anything. I'm planning something for Beb for Sunday. Red makes me feel sexy, seductive. Uh, correction: sexier and more seductive. Meowrrr...