Patience my face!

It sucks big time when you want something real bad and you shut your eyes tight and focus your mental and spiritual energy to connect with The Big Guy Up There for every night since you started wanting that something and you still haven't got what you want.

Parang cellphone:

"The subscriber cannot be reached"/"Out of coverage area"
Busy si Lord sa ibang mas importanteng bagay o ayaw niya nang makinig sa mga dasal ko dahil nakukulitan na siya sa akin.

"Message sending failed"
Kulang siguro sa concentration o sa pagpapanggap na ang hinihingi ko ay para sa ikabubuti ng human race.

"Check operator services"
Hindi ako malakas kay Lord kaya kailangan magpakabait muna ako. Nahalata na nya siguro na ang mga pangako ko na magpapakabait ay void pag nakuha ko na ang gusto ko.

I don't know if it has something to do with being OC or bratty but when I want something, I want to have it right away. I can't just sit and wait without doing everything in my power to have what I want.

Some say that The Big Guy Up There has a plan for me and that I will be given things in due time. But this brings us to my (still) unanswered questions: If The Big Guy has a plan for me, why do I need to make choices everyday? Am I really using free will? If I was given free will, how can The Big Guy have a plan for me? Does he change his plans based on whatever decisions I have made? Or does The Big Guy have a plan for how my story ends so any decisions I've made leading up to the ending doesn't matter anyway?

Whatever. I tried asking The Big Guy to give me patience. Big mistake. Syempre, he won't give it to me so I can learn to be patient. I should've asked for him to help me understand and accept that some things take time before I can have them.

I should've just asked him to give me what I want so I would stop pestering him. But hey, that's the brat in me speaking. My goddess self knows better.

Sorry, I just needed to vent.