Sucks to be me

I don't know why some women think that I'm out to steal their men. I'm not Angelina Jolie. Ooh snap!

I shouldn't even be explaining myself because it's not my fault that some girls are possessive, jealous, insecure and malicious that they misconstrue friendship as something else. These girls have some real serious issues they need to deal with right away.

Okay. Deep breath.

For every one's peace of mind, let me enumerate the reasons why no one should see me as a threat to their relationships:

First, I am engaged. See this here ring on my finger? Yes, the one that's oh so sparkly which, um, I don't know, you don't have? Yup, that's the one. Good girl.

I am in a seven-year relationship (and going) and I will be married soon to the man who happens to be the father of my children. I know this sounds cheesy but I've found the man that I'd be spending the rest of my life with. I am happy and I am satisfied. I have no plans of breaking off the engagement nor am I looking for one last fling before I get married.

Clear cut and simple.

Second, this might come as a shock to you but I'm not interested in your stud muffin. I already have my own. ;-p

Third, I know what it feels like to have a boyfriend stolen from me. Is it me or does that make it sound like a boyfriend is something you own? Anyway, since I've been stolen from, I know how painful it is and I do not wish for any woman to go through the same experience I went through. :-(

Fourth, relationships between men and women can be platonic. I've had guy friends since forever who are still my friends to this time. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that the reason why we're only friends is because we're not attracted to each other? That he wants you to be his girlfriend because he is emotionally and physically attracted to you? If we were attracted to each other then we would be more than friends but we're not. See? ^_^

Fifth, do unto others what you want others to do unto you. I'm a believer of karma so trust me, I would never do anything that might give me bad karma. Do you know that I'm giving your boyfriend advice on how to apologize to you and how he can make the relationship stronger? I'm rooting for both of you so don't think of me as the enemy.

Sigh. I don't know. This is the fourth time this has happened. It's like I'm sending off bad vibes that make other girls feel like they have to prepare for battle.

So I'm hoping this sets the record straight: your boyfriend is safe with me. Erm, I'll take good care of your boyfriend. I meant, your boyfriend is in good hands. No! Wait! Panic! What I meant was, erm, I'll shut my mouth now.


EDIT: My friend and his girlfriend just broke up. :-(